Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

I Feel You

Dear Ethan,

I feel you...

in every sunset, 

every rainbow,

every rain.

In your sisters' laugh,

in their love,

when I speak your name.

In my dreams:

when I'm asleep,

when I'm awake.

I feel you...

with every breath I take.



Ethan Carter, the evening before he met Jesus face to face.



Monday, September 24, 2012

"There he comes!"

We went home to Florida to see our families and some special friends a couple of weeks ago.  My mom and I talked about how much we love this quote while sitting at her kitchen table one day, and I wanted to share it.

"A ship sails and I stand watching until she fades on the horizon and someone by my side says, "She is gone". Gone where? Gone from my side, that is all; she is just as large as when I saw her. The diminished size and total loss of sight are in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, 'She is gone', there are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up the glad shout. "There she comes!" And that is dying." 

On June 4, 2010, my Daddy said, "There he comes!"

... and met his grandson for the first time.



Ethan's Sisters


We know he is so proud!

August 18, 2012