Announcing Julia Carter Lane

Well, this is almost five months late, but...

She's here!!!

She is beautiful beyond words, and our gratefulness to God for her life extends far beyond anything we could ever explain.

Julia Carter Lane was born at 4:14pm on Tuesday, November 29, 2011.  She weighed 6 lbs. 10 oz. and was 18 3/4 inches long, with brown hair and captivating blue eyes.  Her birth was VERY dramatic (another post for another day!), and we praise God for protecting both of us!

And guess what???

HE HEALED HER HEART!!!

We witnessed a supernatural miracle when they did her echo after birth and could not find ANY heart problem, despite her diagnosis while in my womb!

That's MY God!!!

One day soon I will have to share the details!  For now, I just wanted to share that she is here, and leave you with a sweet picture... this is her in her "going home" outfit, which was from her Big Brother, Ethan Carter.  At birth, she was almost the spitting image of her Big Sissy, Emily. But from the start she had facial expressions and mannerisms that reminded us of Ethan, and she quickly started looking like him, too. She is a beautiful combination of them both, with plenty of "just beautiful Julia!", too...

A Miracle For Julia

I can't wait to share more about what God is doing, but we have been in the process of moving to a new church in another state and haven't had Internet access at our new house until a few days ago, so for now, I will just copy and paste a few of the facebook status updates I scribbled from my phone recently...

Saturday, September 10th:

Will be 27 weeks tomorrow... Hard to believe that at this time in my pregnancy with Ethan I had just been put on bed rest a few days ago. In so many ways it feels just like yesterday. Miss him every single moment and can't wait to meet his little sister.


Tuesday, September 13th:

We leave for UAB tonight. Baby Julia Carter's first appointment with the fetal clinic is early tomorrow morning. We covet your prayers so much and are expecting a miracle! She is scheduled for two fetal echoes tomorrow, and we want to be kicked out of the clinic because they can't find any heart problem!!! Our God is able and to Him be the glory, honor, and praise!!!


Saturday, September 17th:

Have been waiting for a chance to post lots of details on Ethan's blog about our appointments at UAB, but Internet is still not working at our new house, so here is a quick update: God is doing a miracle in our Julia!!! She still has the heart problem and will still be followed and delivered at UAB, but the doctors think she will NOT need emergency surgery, and that it is possible she may not ever have to have surgery!!! Praise God, we believe we are witnessing a MIRACLE!!! Thank you for all your prayers, and please keep praying! We want God to completely heal her and take away the heart problem entirely! We don't want surgery now or ever, Amen!!!


Sunday, September 18th:

Couldn't wait to give God the praise He is due this morning (and have been all week)... Looking forward to doing it again tonight! Thank you for all your love and prayers for Baby Julia Carter... We are so grateful for our family and friends! She will be making her debut in just 9-11 short weeks!! :)


WHAT AN INCREDIBLE WEEK! THANK YOU, LORD... WE GIVE YOU GLORY, HONOR, AND PRAISE!

Quick Update On Julia

We saw my OB today, and discussed Julia's diagnosis and the plan of action for the rest of my pregnancy, which will include a team of doctors.

I will post more details later, but I wanted to give a quick update on our sweet girl...

Dr. Nelson did a Biophysical Profile today, and Julia passed with flying colors! Her heart rate was 150 (excellent), she moved so much the tech couldn't even get good pictures for us, there was plenty of amniotic fluid around her, and she was practicing her breathing like a pro! :)

We got to see her precious nose, lips, eyes, hands, feet... all in black and white, but all undeniably adorable!

She did a big yawn for us, and this mama's heart melted into a pool on the floor!

Please keep us in your prayers as we make decisions about her care, but most of all, please keep praying for a miracle with us!

Thank you for the outpouring of love that has been shown to us--- on here, on facebook, and in person... we love you right back! :)

Love,

Julia's Mama

Her Life Has Been Ordained

Yesterday morning, Julia had her fetal echo.

When I was pregnant with Ethan, we asked Emily's cardiologist (who would become Ethan's, too) what the chances were that Ethan would be born with the same heart defect she has. We have the familial form of the disease (meaning it runs in my family), and he told us every baby I have has a 50% chance of having it.

Although we didn't know the exact percentage of likelihood when we got pregnant with Emily or Ethan, we always knew there was a significant chance I'd pass the heart problem down to my children. Hearing the "50%" didn't change anything--- we would have had our children, anyway.

When we made the decision to get pregnant with Julia, we agonized over it only because we had buried Ethan, not because he had had the heart defect.

But we knew when we decided to have her that chance had nothing to do with whether or not she would have the heart defect. Like He had with Emily and Ethan, we knew God would simply say, "Yes, I will allow the heart defect", or "No, I will not."

And for the third time, He has decided to allow it.

The pediatric cardiologist who did Julia's echo yesterday told us Julia has Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis like her brother and sister, possibly has Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis like them, and in addition, her aortic valve looks abnormal, so it is probably narrowed, as well.

Although the problem with the aortic valve is due to the same heart defect, this is one part Emily and Ethan did not have, and it may mean Julia will have to have surgery at birth.

She will be getting regular fetal echos, and we have been instructed to deliver her at UAB.

I would be lying if I told you we aren't terrified.

I would also be lying if I told you Julia isn't worth every bit of the fear.

Like Emily and Ethan, she is irreplacable.

We are asking our friends and family to pray with us for a miracle.

We want the doctors to be beside themselves with confusion as they watch the heart problem completely disappear.

We want to show the world--- through our precious little girl--- what our God can do.

Will you bend your knees and call out Julia's name before the Father with us?

We know He has ordained her life, just as He ordained Emily and Ethan's.

Thank you for your love.

In Honor Of Ethan, Will You Consider...

donating blood this month?

As Ethan's birthday approaches, we would like to ask you to consider donating blood to your local blood bank in honor of our son.

Ethan received a blood transfusion when they were trying to save his life, because his doctors wanted to make sure he didn't become anemic, and we are so grateful to the donors that supplied that blood. Blood was also used to prime the ECMO machine for him, and though he never ended up being able to be put on ECMO, we are grateful it wasn't because they didn't have blood available to prime the machine.

On October 13th, I donated blood back to the very same bank that Ethan's came from, in honor of him and his Sissy... who received blood from that bank when she had her open-heart surgery at 11 months old.

I can't wait to donate this month in honor of my sweet son's birthday.

If you have donated before, would you consider doing it again? The American Red Cross says only 30 percent of first-time donors will ever donate again.

And If you have never donated blood before, we would be so touched if your first time was in celebration and honor of our son.

Every two seconds, someone in the United States needs blood... and one blood donation can save up to three lives!

If you would like to know more, here is a helpful link to some facts from the American Red Cross:

http://www.redcrossblood.org/learn-about-blood/blood-facts-and-statistics

And if you do donate in honor of our Ethan, would you post a comment on here or drop us a line at TheLanes3202@yahoo.com?

We would like to thank you and would love to celebrate!

Not Sure... Yet Sure

I am not sure how much longer I can hold it together this holiday season...

Please, Lord, be near me.

Ethan, words cannot express how much I love and miss you... but I pray you know.

My heart aches for Home... my true home--- because it is the one where you and our other babies and Grampy and Jesus live.

Someday soon, the Lord will split the sky...

and Daddy, Sissy and I will rise... and we will all be together for eternity!

So while I am not sure how much more Christmas I can take, I am sure about this:

On the day Jesus comes back for me, my heart will be made whole.

There Is A Boy

there is a boy

who has captured our hearts

and holds them in Heaven

until we hold him again


we call him Son

(Picture taken May 24, 2010)

Missing you, tonight, Sweet Ethan... as always.

I love you.

Pumpkins For Ethan And His Sissy

I'm a little late posting this, but here are pictures of the pumpkins we got for Ethan and Emily at the pumpkin patch on October 23rd.


On the hayride--- Mama holding Ethan's, Daddy holding Sissy's


Sissy and Daddy getting the seeds out to roast


Daddy and Sissy were trying to carve a heart in Ethan's (because he has a new heart in Heaven), but it didn't quite turn out... whoops! Sissy wanted a heart in hers, too, and that didn't work, either! They both got happy faces on the other side instead. :)


Sissy and Daddy giving each other a high five for a job well done

Oh, Ethan, how we miss you!!

Why Didn't He? (Warning: Raw)

I re-organized Emily's keepsakes tonight into new boxes.

I have been dreading this... I knew it would be so special to reflect on Emily's life so far, but that at the same time it would be a slap in the face of everything we will never get to have with Ethan.

No artwork, no birthday/holiday cards, no Sunday School papers, no letters to or from Santa or the Tooth Fairy, no awards, certificates, or programs, no ticket stubs from baseball games, theme parks, plays... no handmade cards to Mama and Daddy saying, "I love you"...

I expected a flood of emotions.

What I didn't think about is how I would feel when I came across the mementos from Emily's heart procedures/surgery.

The hospital bracelets, the newspaper article about her world-famous heart surgeon, the Bravery Beads stuff, the get well cards...

In an instant, it was 2005 again, and I remembered the fear.

The fear of losing her.

She had her first procedure at three-and-a-half months old.

Five years later, we feared losing Ethan.

And the same procedure that his sister handled so well killed him, when he was almost three months old.

Actually, the anesthesia for the procedure.

Five years ago, Emily also made it through another cardiac cath with balloon angioplasty at 10 months, and open-heart surgery at 11 months.

And her little brother didn't even make it through the anesthesia for the first one.

Yes, his heart was worse than Emily's. But, after he died, their cardiologist told us you could take 10 other babies with hearts just like Ethan's, and this wouldn't have happened--- that's how rare this is.

Why couldn't God protect Ethan like he protected Emily????

Or rather, why didn't he?

You see, one of the hardest things to accept is that God could have intervened and let Ethan stay here with us.

And he chose not to.

I don't believe for a second I am any less of a Christian because I have a hard time with this.

I am a grieving mother, pure and simple.

I don't know how to put it into words, but I need to try...

When I looked through her stuff, I thanked God for what he did for her--- and us. I can't even begin to explain how precious she is, and always has been, to us.

At the same time, I felt incredible, horrible agony that he did not do it for her little brother, too.

Yes, I know Heaven is the ultimate best for everyone. I know Ethan is living in complete joy and fulfillment.

But I am his Mama.

And I just want him here with me.

Precious Memories... Ethan on June 3, 2010, PART 1

Ethan's last full day with us was Thursday, June 3, 2010.

It was a day of precious memories... memories that will (and must) last for the rest of our lives...

We made the trip to Birmingham (his surgery would be at UAB the next morning), stopping for a late, leisurely lunch at the Olive Garden--- the same restaurant chain my husband and I went to on our first date, and the same one we have celebrated so many family occasions at... including this year's Mother's Day, less than a month before.

It was a special lunch... it felt right. Here Josh and I were with our two kids, taking turns holding "Baby 2" while giving "Baby 1" peaches from our tea, helping her with the kids' menu word search, and reminding her not to crawl under the table and to eat her mac-and-cheese, because "There will not be any more food for a while, so don't tell us you're hungry as soon as we get in the car..." It was family life, and we were grateful.

The servers cooed over our two children, and we ate it up, proud to be their parents. Ethan accidentally dipped his uncoordinated hand into my pasta as his head bobbed around, causing us to laugh. He wanted to be held, not put in his car seat beside the table, and we were perfectly happy to do the holding... and to give him lots and lots of kisses. As always, Mama wanted pictures... and thankfully, had Daddy take some.

We lingered at the table, just enjoying being a family. We would have stayed even longer, but we were anxious to get to the hotel so we could enjoy some family time at the pool before tucking our babies in at a decent hour (we would be up a lot of the night to let Ethan eat since he would not be allowed to after 4:00am, and we also had to be at UAB at 6:00am).

Here we are, just happy to be together (Emily's pout is a fake one, by the way!):