Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Friday, November 28, 2014
Blessings
I can't believe Julia Carter is going to be 3 years old tomorrow! Every
night at bedtime, I put my hand on each of the girls' hearts and bless
them. To Emily, I say, "God bless you and heal your heart." It's the
same blessing I have pronounced over her since she was 5 years old, when
I started. To Julia, I say, "God bless you. God thank you for the
Miracle and Gift of Julia." The story behind both of their blessings
involve their brother. Julia's blessing is a daily thanksgiving
to God for giving her to us after losing her brother... for our
"Rainbow Baby". It is also a daily reminder that He healed her heart
Supernaturally upon birth. We will never forget when the Cardiologists
could not find the heart problem, even though they (and other!)
Cardiologists had diagnosed her with it while she was still in my womb.
We were part of a special Fetal Anomalies Clinic at UAB for my
pregnancy. My labor and her delivery were traumatic and scary and
involved a four-hour ambulance ride to UAB and "normal" birth when it
was supposed to be my third c-section. Immediately after birth, she was
rushed (per the plan) to the Cardiac NICU. Less than a day later, they
did her first Echo-cardiogram, and found nothing but a PERFECT heart! 48
hours after birth, she was discharged to come home! Six weeks later,
after another follow-up visit, she was officially discharged from her
Cardiologist's care! She had Emily and Ethan's Cardiologist for exactly
ONE appointment. My family knows heartache and loss very well. And we
also recognize the Miracles of God, and the three Perfect Gifts He has
given us. We don't ever want to take them for granted! Happy Birthday to
our Julia Carter Lane!
Monday, March 21, 2011
A Precious Girl, A Precious Day
March 21, 2010 was Ethan's Due Date.
Though we knew from the beginning he would not be born exactly on that day, for almost nine months, it was the only answer we had to the question of when our precious son would arrive.
March 12th is his birthday... but March 21st is still such a special day to us.
Just as Emily's birthday is November 22nd, but December 1st was her due date.
My children...
So wanted, so loved.
Tonight, Emily made a craft to use in a song she wanted to sing to us--- a song that is very special to our family. A song that I've sang to Emily, and a song that Emily, Daddy and I have sang to Ethan at the cemetery.
I thought it was neat that she happened to choose to do this today, without me having the chance to tell her what today is.
Oh, what a precious girl, oh what a precious day...
(Press pause on the music player at the bottom of the page before pressing play on the video.)
Though we knew from the beginning he would not be born exactly on that day, for almost nine months, it was the only answer we had to the question of when our precious son would arrive.
March 12th is his birthday... but March 21st is still such a special day to us.
Just as Emily's birthday is November 22nd, but December 1st was her due date.
My children...
So wanted, so loved.
Tonight, Emily made a craft to use in a song she wanted to sing to us--- a song that is very special to our family. A song that I've sang to Emily, and a song that Emily, Daddy and I have sang to Ethan at the cemetery.
I thought it was neat that she happened to choose to do this today, without me having the chance to tell her what today is.
Oh, what a precious girl, oh what a precious day...
(Press pause on the music player at the bottom of the page before pressing play on the video.)
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Ethan's First Birthday
No words tonight...
Just so much love.
(Click pause on the music player at the bottom of this page before clicking on the video.)
Just so much love.
(Click pause on the music player at the bottom of this page before clicking on the video.)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
On Saturday...
my sweet boy will be a year old.
I think every parent approaches this milestone by saying, "Where, oh where has the time gone?"
But for us, of course, the question has even more layers of meaning.
Where, oh where has the time gone?
How can it have been a whole year since we held him for the first time?
Or a whole nine months since we held him for the last?
Time has moved by so quickly...
Yet, we can hardly remember life before him.
It's as if he was always ours.
I feel myself wanting to pull into my own little shell as the sacred day of his birth approaches...
And at the same time I want to shout his name from the rooftop!
He's amazing...
and I'm so thankful he's ours.
I think every parent approaches this milestone by saying, "Where, oh where has the time gone?"
But for us, of course, the question has even more layers of meaning.
Where, oh where has the time gone?
How can it have been a whole year since we held him for the first time?
Or a whole nine months since we held him for the last?
Time has moved by so quickly...
Yet, we can hardly remember life before him.
It's as if he was always ours.
I feel myself wanting to pull into my own little shell as the sacred day of his birth approaches...
And at the same time I want to shout his name from the rooftop!
He's amazing...
and I'm so thankful he's ours.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
In Honor Of Ethan, Will You Consider...
donating blood this month?
As Ethan's birthday approaches, we would like to ask you to consider donating blood to your local blood bank in honor of our son.
Ethan received a blood transfusion when they were trying to save his life, because his doctors wanted to make sure he didn't become anemic, and we are so grateful to the donors that supplied that blood. Blood was also used to prime the ECMO machine for him, and though he never ended up being able to be put on ECMO, we are grateful it wasn't because they didn't have blood available to prime the machine.
On October 13th, I donated blood back to the very same bank that Ethan's came from, in honor of him and his Sissy... who received blood from that bank when she had her open-heart surgery at 11 months old.
I can't wait to donate this month in honor of my sweet son's birthday.
If you have donated before, would you consider doing it again? The American Red Cross says only 30 percent of first-time donors will ever donate again.
And If you have never donated blood before, we would be so touched if your first time was in celebration and honor of our son.
Every two seconds, someone in the United States needs blood... and one blood donation can save up to three lives!
If you would like to know more, here is a helpful link to some facts from the American Red Cross:
http://www.redcrossblood.org/learn-about-blood/blood-facts-and-statistics
And if you do donate in honor of our Ethan, would you post a comment on here or drop us a line at TheLanes3202@yahoo.com?
We would like to thank you and would love to celebrate!
As Ethan's birthday approaches, we would like to ask you to consider donating blood to your local blood bank in honor of our son.
Ethan received a blood transfusion when they were trying to save his life, because his doctors wanted to make sure he didn't become anemic, and we are so grateful to the donors that supplied that blood. Blood was also used to prime the ECMO machine for him, and though he never ended up being able to be put on ECMO, we are grateful it wasn't because they didn't have blood available to prime the machine.
On October 13th, I donated blood back to the very same bank that Ethan's came from, in honor of him and his Sissy... who received blood from that bank when she had her open-heart surgery at 11 months old.
I can't wait to donate this month in honor of my sweet son's birthday.
If you have donated before, would you consider doing it again? The American Red Cross says only 30 percent of first-time donors will ever donate again.
And If you have never donated blood before, we would be so touched if your first time was in celebration and honor of our son.
Every two seconds, someone in the United States needs blood... and one blood donation can save up to three lives!
If you would like to know more, here is a helpful link to some facts from the American Red Cross:
http://www.redcrossblood.org/learn-about-blood/blood-facts-and-statistics
And if you do donate in honor of our Ethan, would you post a comment on here or drop us a line at TheLanes3202@yahoo.com?
We would like to thank you and would love to celebrate!
Great Expectation
This time last year (well, okay, for my entire pregnancy with him!) we were awaiting Ethan's arrival with great expectation.
We knew it could be any time... as I mentioned in my last post, this day last year, Dr. Nelson scheduled his birthday for March 12th (my due date was March 21st)... but we knew he still might choose to make his appearance earlier. :)
(I had, after all, just gotten off bed rest and Brethine, and here we were only a couple of days later, me contracting and her thinking she might have to go ahead and deliver him.)
And although he didn't come earlier, this time was filled with incredible anticipation as his birthday drew closer!
Here are a few pictures from February 15, 2010.
Ethan would be born just a month later...
And Emily was more than ready to be a Big Sissy!
We knew it could be any time... as I mentioned in my last post, this day last year, Dr. Nelson scheduled his birthday for March 12th (my due date was March 21st)... but we knew he still might choose to make his appearance earlier. :)
(I had, after all, just gotten off bed rest and Brethine, and here we were only a couple of days later, me contracting and her thinking she might have to go ahead and deliver him.)
And although he didn't come earlier, this time was filled with incredible anticipation as his birthday drew closer!
Here are a few pictures from February 15, 2010.
Ethan would be born just a month later...
And Emily was more than ready to be a Big Sissy!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A Special Anniversary
I have so many emotions going on right now, but I wanted to share a tidbit from Ethan's life, so I'm going to just copy and paste my facebook status from today:
"Hubby and I have been married for nine years today! :) Last year on this date, I was in the hospital having constant contractions with Ethan (again!!), and Dr. Nelson was preparing to do my c-section the next day (or in the middle of the night if my water broke), because she wasn't sure she could stop the contractions and needed to keep my uterus from rupturing. But she did stop them, so she scheduled his birthday for March 12th instead. It is a memory that brings tears to my eyes and a catch in my throat, because it is an incredibly precious part of Ethan's life and our family's story..."
We will always remember the wedding anniversary Ethan was in my belly and we thought we were going to meet him the next day!
Daddy, Sissy and I are missing you today, Sweet Boy... as always!
We love you and anxiously await Reunion Day!
"Hubby and I have been married for nine years today! :) Last year on this date, I was in the hospital having constant contractions with Ethan (again!!), and Dr. Nelson was preparing to do my c-section the next day (or in the middle of the night if my water broke), because she wasn't sure she could stop the contractions and needed to keep my uterus from rupturing. But she did stop them, so she scheduled his birthday for March 12th instead. It is a memory that brings tears to my eyes and a catch in my throat, because it is an incredibly precious part of Ethan's life and our family's story..."
We will always remember the wedding anniversary Ethan was in my belly and we thought we were going to meet him the next day!
Daddy, Sissy and I are missing you today, Sweet Boy... as always!
We love you and anxiously await Reunion Day!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Happy Birthday, Grampy and Jackson!
Today is my daddy's birthday... his third one with Jesus and his first one with his grandson.
My daddy went Home to be with Jesus on June 7, 2008... it was completely unexpected and a horrible shock--- and the worst pain I had ever known. On June 7, 2010, I buried my son... it was completely unexpected and a horrible shock--- and the worst pain I have ever known.
There is no sugarcoating it. The truth is, my daddy and my son were suddenly and horrifically ripped away from me.
But I also have to remember some other truths... and they are not an option. They are how I breathe...
My daddy and my son are together.
And they spend their days with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
You see, the day they each met Jesus brought (and brings) me unspeakable pain... but it brought (and brings) them unspeakable happiness.
And One day, I too, will be called Home.
I will see Jesus face to face.
And then, I will see them face to face.
Ever since my daddy has gone to Heaven, every year on his birthday, Josh, Emily and I go out to eat and have cake. We sing Happy Birthday to Grampy in Heaven, and we honor him and his life.
Last year on this day, my precious nephew Jackson was born. His mama, Amanda, is like a sister to me. How I love it that Jackson shares his Uncle Mac's birthday. (We are all certain my daddy would have called him "Mackson", by the way!)
Here is Emily tonight, doing an encore of the songs she sang at our special lunch today.
Daddy--- I love and miss you!! Kiss my son for me.
Jackson--- Wear John Deere proudly and every chance you get!
My daddy went Home to be with Jesus on June 7, 2008... it was completely unexpected and a horrible shock--- and the worst pain I had ever known. On June 7, 2010, I buried my son... it was completely unexpected and a horrible shock--- and the worst pain I have ever known.
There is no sugarcoating it. The truth is, my daddy and my son were suddenly and horrifically ripped away from me.
But I also have to remember some other truths... and they are not an option. They are how I breathe...
My daddy and my son are together.
And they spend their days with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
You see, the day they each met Jesus brought (and brings) me unspeakable pain... but it brought (and brings) them unspeakable happiness.
And One day, I too, will be called Home.
I will see Jesus face to face.
And then, I will see them face to face.
Ever since my daddy has gone to Heaven, every year on his birthday, Josh, Emily and I go out to eat and have cake. We sing Happy Birthday to Grampy in Heaven, and we honor him and his life.
Last year on this day, my precious nephew Jackson was born. His mama, Amanda, is like a sister to me. How I love it that Jackson shares his Uncle Mac's birthday. (We are all certain my daddy would have called him "Mackson", by the way!)
Here is Emily tonight, doing an encore of the songs she sang at our special lunch today.
Daddy--- I love and miss you!! Kiss my son for me.
Jackson--- Wear John Deere proudly and every chance you get!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Triggers
So, I tried to be "normal" today, like I do every day, even though there is nothing normal about my life anymore...
I went about the day doing what I needed to do...
as if my son isn't dead (on this earth).
I did some things in the morning, then went to Subway with Emily and Josh for lunch, then to a doctor's appointment... then Emily and I took a detour to the cemetery before going to Walmart.
(Okay, so obviously the cemetery wouldn't have been on the agenda if Ethan hadn't died... but, you know what I mean...)
My point is I was functioning.
I was doing what I needed to do.
I ran into someone I know at Walmart and we talked about Ethan's death, but I held it together... to be honest, talking about Ethan is a need I have... he is my son. And I love hearing his name and knowing he isn't forgotten.
Anyway, I was making it through the day so well...
And then I got home and checked our mail.
There was a catalog from a birthday party supply company.
Highlighting all the different themes for your child's first birthday.
I'm sure the company bought a mailing list that had us on it because Ethan's first birthday is coming up... and when I was pregnant we signed up for all those diaper coupons and baby magazines that have you list the baby's due date.
But, Ethan won't be here for his first birthday... or any birthday.
I'm not making it through the day so well anymore.
"Triggers", they call them--- those things that throw you into your grief when you thought you were doing okay for a moment.
They are unexpected, and they are everywhere.
And, honestly?
It doesn't take a trigger...
my heart always knows my son isn't here.
Jesus, be near me now...
Remind me of the life my son is living right now.
I went about the day doing what I needed to do...
as if my son isn't dead (on this earth).
I did some things in the morning, then went to Subway with Emily and Josh for lunch, then to a doctor's appointment... then Emily and I took a detour to the cemetery before going to Walmart.
(Okay, so obviously the cemetery wouldn't have been on the agenda if Ethan hadn't died... but, you know what I mean...)
My point is I was functioning.
I was doing what I needed to do.
I ran into someone I know at Walmart and we talked about Ethan's death, but I held it together... to be honest, talking about Ethan is a need I have... he is my son. And I love hearing his name and knowing he isn't forgotten.
Anyway, I was making it through the day so well...
And then I got home and checked our mail.
There was a catalog from a birthday party supply company.
Highlighting all the different themes for your child's first birthday.
I'm sure the company bought a mailing list that had us on it because Ethan's first birthday is coming up... and when I was pregnant we signed up for all those diaper coupons and baby magazines that have you list the baby's due date.
But, Ethan won't be here for his first birthday... or any birthday.
I'm not making it through the day so well anymore.
"Triggers", they call them--- those things that throw you into your grief when you thought you were doing okay for a moment.
They are unexpected, and they are everywhere.
And, honestly?
It doesn't take a trigger...
my heart always knows my son isn't here.
Jesus, be near me now...
Remind me of the life my son is living right now.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Another Mother Speaks My Heart
Would you read a post from one of the mamas I found after Ethan went to Heaven?
You can find it at: www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com
The writing of Annabelle's Mama often brings tears to my eyes, and many times, I think, "That's me! That's me!" as I am reading.
I just read her post from yesterday entitled "Just a Week Away", and I can identify with it so much. Although no two situations are exactly the same, and there are differences in our stories, she is speaking my heart.
I'm not sure Josh and I are out of the shock phase yet...
but, oh, her words pierce me.
When she talks about not knowing how to celebrate her precious Annabelle's birthday... Ethan's First Birthday is fast approaching, and like a freight train.
And her words pierce me when she says, "The reality of it is that my daughter died and I want to feel the void that she leaves in my heart."
My son died, and I want to feel the void that he leaves in my heart.
Rebecca, how grateful I am that we have been given Eternity with them.
And I'm looking forward to Ethan introducing me to your Annabelle one day.
You can find it at: www.babygirlbutcher.blogspot.com
The writing of Annabelle's Mama often brings tears to my eyes, and many times, I think, "That's me! That's me!" as I am reading.
I just read her post from yesterday entitled "Just a Week Away", and I can identify with it so much. Although no two situations are exactly the same, and there are differences in our stories, she is speaking my heart.
I'm not sure Josh and I are out of the shock phase yet...
but, oh, her words pierce me.
When she talks about not knowing how to celebrate her precious Annabelle's birthday... Ethan's First Birthday is fast approaching, and like a freight train.
And her words pierce me when she says, "The reality of it is that my daughter died and I want to feel the void that she leaves in my heart."
My son died, and I want to feel the void that he leaves in my heart.
Rebecca, how grateful I am that we have been given Eternity with them.
And I'm looking forward to Ethan introducing me to your Annabelle one day.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
You Are Nine Months Old, Baby Boy!
Sweet Ethan,
We took "baby boy blue" balloons to your grave today.
They are bouncing around in the wind, reminding us you are not dead--- you are absolutely full of life!
And we went to the Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting tonight... it is an annual event held to remember and honor children who have passed from this life to the next.
Our favorite part of the evening?
Your name was called out:
"Ethan Carter Lane"
And Daddy, Sissy and I walked up on stage...
Sissy was between Daddy and I, and we all held hands...
With our free hands, Daddy and I each lit the candles we held that represented you from a beautiful big candle... and then the three of us walked with the candles back to our seats.
The room soon filled with candles burning bright...
as so many precious children were honored... including Mrs. Kay's son, Mark... and Mrs. Wendy's sister, Staci.
Today you are nine months old, Baby Boy...
I can't believe it.
Most of all, I can't believe you aren't here with us.
One day, there will be no more candle lighting...
Because we will hold you again.
We wait with great expectation for that day!
We love you and we miss you--- beyond words, beyond measure.
Love,
Mama
We took "baby boy blue" balloons to your grave today.
They are bouncing around in the wind, reminding us you are not dead--- you are absolutely full of life!
And we went to the Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting tonight... it is an annual event held to remember and honor children who have passed from this life to the next.
Our favorite part of the evening?
Your name was called out:
"Ethan Carter Lane"
And Daddy, Sissy and I walked up on stage...
Sissy was between Daddy and I, and we all held hands...
With our free hands, Daddy and I each lit the candles we held that represented you from a beautiful big candle... and then the three of us walked with the candles back to our seats.
The room soon filled with candles burning bright...
as so many precious children were honored... including Mrs. Kay's son, Mark... and Mrs. Wendy's sister, Staci.
Today you are nine months old, Baby Boy...
I can't believe it.
Most of all, I can't believe you aren't here with us.
One day, there will be no more candle lighting...
Because we will hold you again.
We wait with great expectation for that day!
We love you and we miss you--- beyond words, beyond measure.
Love,
Mama
Monday, November 22, 2010
Your Sissy Is Six Years Old Today!!!
Dear Ethan,
I love you and I miss you! You're my Favorite One!
Did you know your Sissy's six??
Love,
Sissy
Mama and Daddy let me open one of my presents from them as soon as I woke up this morning!
I love you and I miss you! You're my Favorite One!
Did you know your Sissy's six??
Love,
Sissy
Mama and Daddy let me open one of my presents from them as soon as I woke up this morning!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Happy 7 Months, Sweet Ethan Carter!
Oh, Baby Boy...
Seven months old today--- I can't believe it!
And I can't believe you're not here with us.
When I get to Heaven, I'll have a lot of kisses to give you to make up for the ones I can't give you here... good thing we'll have eternity!
I am so proud of you, Ethan.
My heart bursts with pride that I am your Mama... and aches because I am your Mama and I can't be with you right now.
I love you and miss you, Sweet Boy... sit with Jesus and let Him tell you a story...
Seven months old today--- I can't believe it!
And I can't believe you're not here with us.
When I get to Heaven, I'll have a lot of kisses to give you to make up for the ones I can't give you here... good thing we'll have eternity!
I am so proud of you, Ethan.
My heart bursts with pride that I am your Mama... and aches because I am your Mama and I can't be with you right now.
I love you and miss you, Sweet Boy... sit with Jesus and let Him tell you a story...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Ethan Turns Six Months Old
My heart is so heavy.
Once again, words fail to express the pain.
Ethan turned six months old on Sunday, September 12th.
We do not say he would have turned six months old, we say he is six months old--- because he is alive. And since we do not know exactly how old he is in Heaven, we will continue to count his age the only way we know how.
As every mother (and father) knows, there is just something about your baby turning six months old.
On Ethan's six-month birthday, we did not get to marvel at how fast he has grown up or give him his first bite of cereal. There were no cute pictures to mark this precious milestone... and no big smiles or slobbery kisses.
But even though Ethan is in Heaven, there is just something about him turning six months old.
So instead of sweet pictures, rice cereal, and talk of how time flies... instead of the kisses and smiles we ache for...
There was a balloon... a homemade card from his Sissy... a teddy she chose so carefully... many, many tears...
And a prayer that God would tell Ethan how much we love him.
Ethan's marker on his six-month birthday (the current granite is just temporary until the custom black granite with his handprints and footprints etched in it arrives... also, the ceramic picture on the right is being redone--- we wanted it with its original background, like it is on the blog):
"IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE YOUR FAMILY. NOT THE END."
Once again, words fail to express the pain.
Ethan turned six months old on Sunday, September 12th.
We do not say he would have turned six months old, we say he is six months old--- because he is alive. And since we do not know exactly how old he is in Heaven, we will continue to count his age the only way we know how.
As every mother (and father) knows, there is just something about your baby turning six months old.
On Ethan's six-month birthday, we did not get to marvel at how fast he has grown up or give him his first bite of cereal. There were no cute pictures to mark this precious milestone... and no big smiles or slobbery kisses.
But even though Ethan is in Heaven, there is just something about him turning six months old.
So instead of sweet pictures, rice cereal, and talk of how time flies... instead of the kisses and smiles we ache for...
There was a balloon... a homemade card from his Sissy... a teddy she chose so carefully... many, many tears...
And a prayer that God would tell Ethan how much we love him.
Ethan's marker on his six-month birthday (the current granite is just temporary until the custom black granite with his handprints and footprints etched in it arrives... also, the ceramic picture on the right is being redone--- we wanted it with its original background, like it is on the blog):
"IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE YOUR FAMILY. NOT THE END."
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Happy Five Months, Sweet Boy!
My Sweet, Sweet Ethan,
Wow... you are five months old today!
I wish so much you were here, but I know you are enjoying the arms of Jesus. Your Daddy says now that you've seen the face of Jesus, you don't want to come back to us even if you could. He is right, and we both take comfort in that. Because as much as we long for you, as much as it hurts to be without you...
We are so glad you don't feel the same way.
We are glad you don't miss us--- that you aren't feeling the separation like we are.
You are our baby, our precious son, and we take comfort in knowing that while you will rejoice when we come to you one day and live forever with you, you don't ache for us in the meantime.
We are grateful you know no pain, no sorrow, no broken heart...
And we can't wait to be with you again.
So enjoy the arms of Jesus, Sweet Boy...
And know I can't wait to hold you in mine again one day.
I love you--- beyond measure.
Love,
Mama
Wow... you are five months old today!
I wish so much you were here, but I know you are enjoying the arms of Jesus. Your Daddy says now that you've seen the face of Jesus, you don't want to come back to us even if you could. He is right, and we both take comfort in that. Because as much as we long for you, as much as it hurts to be without you...
We are so glad you don't feel the same way.
We are glad you don't miss us--- that you aren't feeling the separation like we are.
You are our baby, our precious son, and we take comfort in knowing that while you will rejoice when we come to you one day and live forever with you, you don't ache for us in the meantime.
We are grateful you know no pain, no sorrow, no broken heart...
And we can't wait to be with you again.
So enjoy the arms of Jesus, Sweet Boy...
And know I can't wait to hold you in mine again one day.
I love you--- beyond measure.
Love,
Mama
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