Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Ethan Turns Six Months Old

My heart is so heavy.

Once again, words fail to express the pain.

Ethan turned six months old on Sunday, September 12th.

We do not say he would have turned six months old, we say he is six months old--- because he is alive. And since we do not know exactly how old he is in Heaven, we will continue to count his age the only way we know how.

As every mother (and father) knows, there is just something about your baby turning six months old.

On Ethan's six-month birthday, we did not get to marvel at how fast he has grown up or give him his first bite of cereal. There were no cute pictures to mark this precious milestone... and no big smiles or slobbery kisses.

But even though Ethan is in Heaven, there is just something about him turning six months old.

So instead of sweet pictures, rice cereal, and talk of how time flies... instead of the kisses and smiles we ache for...

There was a balloon... a homemade card from his Sissy... a teddy she chose so carefully... many, many tears...

And a prayer that God would tell Ethan how much we love him.

Ethan's marker on his six-month birthday (the current granite is just temporary until the custom black granite with his handprints and footprints etched in it arrives... also, the ceramic picture on the right is being redone--- we wanted it with its original background, like it is on the blog):



"IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE YOUR FAMILY. NOT THE END."



Posted by at
Labels: ,

2 comments:

  1. Amy B.September 28, 2010 at 5:08 PM

    Caitlyn chose a bear like Ethan's, only purple, to be placed inside her cousin Nicole's casket. A very kind lady at the local Kroger hot glued a banana shaped candy to his hand in remembrance of the time Nicole fed a just barely walking Caitlyn her first taste of banana pudding. Happy 6 month birthday, Ethan.

    ReplyDelete
  2. BryanneSeptember 28, 2010 at 11:05 PM

    That is precious! And how sweet of the lady at Krogers... if people only knew how much the "little things" they do mean to grieving hearts...

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)