Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

On Saturday...

my sweet boy will be a year old.

I think every parent approaches this milestone by saying, "Where, oh where has the time gone?"

But for us, of course, the question has even more layers of meaning.

Where, oh where has the time gone?

How can it have been a whole year since we held him for the first time?

Or a whole nine months since we held him for the last?

Time has moved by so quickly...

Yet, we can hardly remember life before him.

It's as if he was always ours.

I feel myself wanting to pull into my own little shell as the sacred day of his birth approaches...

And at the same time I want to shout his name from the rooftop!

He's amazing...

and I'm so thankful he's ours.
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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 9, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Yes a full gammut of emotions I feel sure.Wow!I can not believe Ethan is already a year old.This just seems impossible.Where did the time go?It just seems like yesterday that all of this took place.I will never forget his precious,beautiful God given smiling face.We love you & family Bryanne & Ethan will forever be with us in our hearts,our thoughts,our memories.He touched our souls and our very beings.He was so very precious,so beautiful,such a handsome little man.He came & he touched a lot of hearts & lives while here.Even now his memories are continuing to touch hearts.You are precious to us Bryanne.Love you very much.Jesus loves you abundantly.Take good care sweet lady,dear precious child of God.The day is coming that your family will be rejoined with Ethan.What a day that will be!When we see Jesus face to face,fall at His feet and worship,praise & adore Him.To be rejoined with all of our family,church family,friends,all the saints of all the ages will be awesome.Words won't be able to describe this moment.Love you with all of our hearts.**Jackie <3

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  2. StaceyMarch 12, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    Hi Bryanne, my name is Stacey. We were friends way back in the day (I don't want to publish my last name here - I lived down the street from you in RPB). I stumbled upon your blog through some light stalking (ha!). I would really like to reach out and tell you how saddened I am to see that this has happened to you and your family. As a mother myself, my heart aches for you. My email is staceymac78@msn.com and I would love to reconnect. Take care.

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  3. BryanneMarch 13, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Jackie- We love you so much, too. We will never forget how you came to Ethan's memorial service (and brought sweet gifts with you)! You always show us so much love, and we are grateful. Stacey- I will definitely e-mail you... and thank you for the sweet words!

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