Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Happy Five Months, Sweet Boy!

My Sweet, Sweet Ethan,

Wow... you are five months old today!

I wish so much you were here, but I know you are enjoying the arms of Jesus. Your Daddy says now that you've seen the face of Jesus, you don't want to come back to us even if you could. He is right, and we both take comfort in that. Because as much as we long for you, as much as it hurts to be without you...

We are so glad you don't feel the same way.

We are glad you don't miss us--- that you aren't feeling the separation like we are.

You are our baby, our precious son, and we take comfort in knowing that while you will rejoice when we come to you one day and live forever with you, you don't ache for us in the meantime.

We are grateful you know no pain, no sorrow, no broken heart...

And we can't wait to be with you again.

So enjoy the arms of Jesus, Sweet Boy...

And know I can't wait to hold you in mine again one day.

I love you--- beyond measure.

Love,

Mama
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