Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

He Knew

A truth has burned in my heart since we lost Ethan... it is one of the very, very few things that bring me comfort. And it has rested on me today as a heavy weight...

June 4th, 2010 did not take God by surprise.

He was not sitting in Heaven wringing his hands when Ethan went into cardiac arrest that morning.

He did not cry out in disbelief, "Oh, no! What do we do now?!"

No.

He knew every detail of June 4th on June 3rd.

He knew before He even created Ethan.

He knew before He created me, before He created my husband... before He created the world.

Nothing--- NOTHING--- takes Him by surprise.

My husband and I do not believe it was God's perfect will for Ethan to die. We believe His perfect will for Ethan was to still be in our arms.

But, God did allow it to happen.

He allowed our son to die.

He could have intervened by saving his life (on Earth), or preventing the cardiac arrest in the first place, and He chose not to.

As much as this angers me, it also brings me comfort.

Why?

Because if I know He was ABLE to keep Ethan here with us, then I know He didn't because He DECIDED not to... that He made a decision, for a reason, to bring my son home to His arms instead of allow him to stay in mine...

My son didn't die because God was caught off guard and just didn't know what to do.

God, and God alone, holds the keys to death and the grave.

Satan, what you meant for our harm is being turned into a beautiful, fragrant offering to Our God...

And my tears only water the seeds of Ethan's life... a life that points to Jesus.
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2 comments:

  1. UnknownAugust 29, 2010 at 9:38 PM

    I pray for you and Brother Josh and Emily everyday!! I dont, cant even say anything else but I pray for you!! I love you and may God hold you closer to him!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. BryanneAugust 29, 2010 at 11:06 PM

    Thank you for all those prayers! Please keep them up!! We love you, too!

    ReplyDelete

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