Ethan met Jesus 12 weeks ago today...
when he was exactly 12 weeks old.
That means from now on, he will have been out of our arms longer than he was in them...
It is, as my father-in-law said the day of Ethan's wake, ridiculous.
Ethan should be here with us.
It feels as if he has been part of our family forever. He was loved beyond measure from the moment we knew we were pregnant. And then when we saw him for the first time, we realized we hadn't even gotten started!! We were smitten--- all of us!
He spent nine months in my womb, 12 weeks in our arms, and is now spending eternity with Jesus.
Sometimes dates are full of meaning, and sometimes they aren't. I would like to share how I feel about this line we are crossing today--- the one that says we have now been without him longer than we have been with him (in our arms):
It means pretty much nothing to me.
What I mean is, it doesn't diminish the time we had with him, or make the future any easier, or enable us to be further along in "the grief process"...
He is our son.
If we live another 70 years on this Earth without him, it will not make it any easier. They say you eventually adjust to the grief--- learn how to live with it--- and we are trusting that is true. But the fact that we have been without him longer than we've been with him will never make it easier or make him less real to us.
How can he be less real? He is still alive.
Mama, Daddy and Sissy love you, Ethan... See you soon, Sweet Boy!!
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