Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Our Official Holiday

Since Ethan went to live with Jesus, our little family has decided to have an "official holiday".

We love Thanksgiving and absolutely adore Christmas... but Easter will always hold our hearts in such a special way.

You see, Easter was the only holiday we had Ethan here with us (outside my womb)...

and Easter is the reason Ethan still lives.

About two months ago (on February 6th), while sitting in church on Sunday listening to my husband preach, I felt like God was speaking to me in a precious way.

Before my husband even used the words, "This is for you" that morning, referring to Jesus talking on the cross, I felt God speaking them to me--- about Ethan.

I began furiously writing down what I felt like God was saying might have been His words to Ethan when He (Jesus) was on the cross.

Now, I'm not proclaiming this is what Jesus actually said. Although if He were to reveal to me that these were indeed the exact words He said 2,000 years ago, I would have no problem telling you so. I know God is able to speak to me that personally.

What I do know is that God gave me these words that Sunday two months ago, and He did so for a reason.

"Ethan, this is for you. At the perfect time, you will be born into a family that will have longed for you their entire lives. You will make them whole.

You will be born with a heart that, although perfect to Me, will have a medical defect because of the sickness and disease that is in the world. Your earthly life will be cut short because of this defect.

Your family will grieve terribly for you. They will miss you more than words can say. And they will long for Heaven like never before.

Because, Ethan, that is where you will be. Because of My blood, you will be with Me.

Ethan, this is for you."
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