Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Silent

It has been two weeks since my last post...

Between the hustle and bustle of the season and the emotional roller coaster it brought, I have been silent.

We spent Christmas in Florida with our families, and I did not bring my laptop or use any computer at all while we were there...

Maybe I needed the silence.

Sometimes it feels pointless to try to write anything, because nothing explains things adequately.

But, then I am reminded how much I want the world to know my baby boy...

How I long to share how amazing he is and how I love to talk about him.

How I feel like this is a simple way to honor him.

I am grateful for family and friends that remembered and honored him this Christmas season, and I can't wait to share some special things that were done for him and us.

I hope your Christmas was also filled with love, and that you were keenly aware of the Baby who came and changed everything.

:)
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