Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Bumpers of Faith

My husband preached a sermon today entitled "Bumpers of Faith". He used an analogy from a father/daughter date he had with Emily a few months ago to describe how the pillars of our faith work in our lives.

When bowling with a five year-old, you use bumpers. The ball may roll from one side of the lane to the other, bang every which way, or spin out of control... but the bumpers keep it in the lane.

This is how the pillars of our faith (pillars of truth) work. Our life may spin out of control, things may get horrible, the pain may feel unbearable... but the things we know to be true hold us securely in the boundaries of God's love.

At the end of the service, Josh had us write down some of the pillars of faith we cling to in our own lives (which are, of course, true for us all) and attach them to the sides of "bumpers" he had created down the center aisle of the church. Then we walked down the aisle, stopping to read the pillars of faith that hold us securely, even in the midst of the storms of life.

My pillars?

He is the God of Restoration.

He will wipe every tear from my eyes.

He is big enough to handle my questions.

Babies live forever with Him.

I know no greater pain than the loss of my son. I cannot explain the agony of knowing this is my new life... that I have joined a club I never asked to or dreamed I would join--- one made up of parents who have buried their children.

But, I also know no greater love than that of the One Who is the Only Reason I am still breathing.

You see, He is a member of the club, too--- only He joined willingly.

He gave His Son so mine could live forever.

That is the ultimate pillar of truth.

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