Our Precious Ethan Carter

Ethan Carter Lane was born on March 12, 2010, perfectly healthy except for a rare congenital heart defect (Supravalvular Aortic Stenosis and Supravalvular Pulmonic Stenosis) that has been passed down through the generations in my family. His sister, Emily (born November 22, 2004), has the same defect. She had two cardiac catheterizations with balloon angioplastys and open-heart surgery, all before the age of one. She is a happy, energetic little girl who has never been sickly (you would never even know she has a heart defect) and has an incredible future. Her little brother Ethan was expected to follow a similar course. He was a "normal baby"... he never looked or acted sick, never struggled, never let us know just how severe his heart defect really was. On June 4, 2010, at two months and three weeks of age, Ethan underwent his first procedure--- a cardiac catheterization with balloon angioplasty. Only they never started the actual procedure. When someone is put under general anesthesia, their blood pressure drops. When the doctors put our precious Ethan under, his heart could not handle the drop in blood pressure. He went into sudden, unexpected cardiac arrest, and teams of doctors tried everything they knew to save him. But, Jesus did the saving that day in His Own special way... and Ethan went to live forever in Heaven. This blog is simply one mother working through her grief and reconciling a Loving God with One Who allows us to suffer the loss of a child. It is also one mother wanting the world to know about her incredibly special son--- and the God Who loves him.

Friday, July 2, 2010

A Month of Fridays

It was four weeks ago today our sweet Ethan went to be with Jesus. Honestly, I can't believe we've made it this far.

Every day, we stand at his grave and hold each other, asking God to help us make it through another one. The fact that we are still breathing proves He is faithful.

This has been, without a doubt, the longest four weeks of our lives... it feels like we have already had to live without our son for so, so long. It is impossible to explain how much we miss him.

Yet at the same time, it really does seem like just yesterday that Ethan was still in our arms... that we were living life as a grateful family of four.

I know that will be the case until we see him again in Heaven... the wait will seem unbearably long, while the memories will remain incredibly fresh and tender.

He is one special little boy.
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