(Ethan was seven weeks old in this picture.)
Today is July 12th. It was this day last year I found out I was pregnant with Ethan.
And today we ordered the marker for his grave.
Two days ago, I celebrated my 31st Birthday. As I stood over my son's grave with my family, I couldn't help but think how the past year was both the best and worst year of my life.
The best because I had my husband and my two children.
The worst because I then buried one of them.
I told my mom tonight that my whole life is now divided into two categories: "Before" and "After".
Before my son died, and After my son died.
Last July 12th was before my son died. I took a pregnancy test after evening church and Josh and I were downright giddy at the results. We felt pure joy that God had blessed us with another life. And we certainly never took it for granted.
Still, we had no idea just how wonderful that life would be! What a beautiful, extraordinary son we would have.
We also had no idea we would stand over his grave less than a year later... that the same baby who grew in my womb would now be in the ground.
Ethan was a special, special little boy.
I choose to remember July 12th not as the day we ordered the marker for his grave, but as the day we found out he was going to be ours.
No comments:
Post a Comment